SARDAR JOKES

An elderly Punjabi admitted to the intensive care department of a hospital requested that he has taken lessons in French. The doctor was puzzled and asked him why?
“Well, French is the language of heaven,” he sighed. “I want to be able to communicate with everyone in heaven if I die.”

“But how are you so sure that you will end up in heaven? You might go to hell. What good will French do you then?” asked the doctor.
“That will no problem. I am fluent in Punjabi.”



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A Sardar came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advertisement announcing his father’s death.
“The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm,” the clerk told him.

“Main toh lut jaoonga,” exclaimed the Sardar.
“My father was 182 cms tall.”



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Santa and Banta are waiting at a bus stop, when a bus pulls up and opens the door.
Banta leans inside and asks the driver, “Will this bus take me to Chandigarh?”

The bus driver shakes his head and says, “No, I’m Sorry.”
At this Santa leans inside, smiles and twitters, “Will it take ME,plzzz?”


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Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights.
Sardarji was also experiencing the same every time. He tries to sleep, one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound “guooonn, guooonn.” He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent.

Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says “so ja machchar, bete so ja”.
After some time he finds the mosquito falling into deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says “Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn”.



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Sardar ko dost ne khane pe bhulaya, ghar pe tala laga hua tha aur likha hua tha “Bewakuf Banaya”.

Sardar ne hoshyari dikhayi niche likh diya“Hum Yahan Aye Hi Nahi The”.



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One day evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way…
Friend : Why are you pushing your scooter manually?

Sardarji : I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home.
Friend : Is it! then, how did you come to office from home in the morning?
Sardarji : I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning.


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Santa was inserting dog’s tail into pipe.

Banta : Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti.
Santa : Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon.



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Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of good.
Sardar : Bad.
Interviewer : Come.
Sardar : Go.
Interviewer : Ugly.
Sardar : Pichlli.
Interviewer : U G L Y?
Sardar : PICHLLY !!!!!!!

Interviewer : Shut Up.
Sardar : Keep Talking.
Interviewer : Get Out.
Sardar : Come In.
Interviewer : Oh my God.
Sardar : Oh my Devil.
Interviewer : U r Rejected.
Sardar : I am Selected. BALLE BALLLE.


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Ek baar ek terrorist ne Ritu ke ghar mein bomb rakh diya.
Log chillaye : Ritu bomb hai, Ritu bomb hai.

Ritu sambhal kar boli : Dhatt teri ki, woh toh mein jawani mein thi !! Ab nahi rahi.


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Wife: Ji apko mujhme kya achha lagta hai, meri samajhdari ya meri beauty.

Husband: Mujhe toh yeh tumhari Majak karne ki aadat bahut achi lagti hai.



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